butcheart:

fluffwing:

hey. if you primarily use he/him pronouns… you shouldn’t use the term lesbian to describe yourself. going by male pronouns means you want people to refer to you and think of you as a guy. “he came with me.” “i saw him at the mall.” the mental image those sentences produce is the whole point behind pronouns. a lesbian is a woman who is attracted to women. a lesbian is someone who does not identify as a man. i don’t know how else to spell this out for you guys

pronouns =/= gender. lesbians use he/him pronouns because of our complicated relationships with gender and femininity and because that’s what makes us comfortable.

and like, not all lesbians are binary women. nonbinary lesbians exist and make up a lot of the lesbians who use he/him pronouns, along with trans and butch lesbians and lesbians of color. we aren’t identifying as men by using these pronouns, we are still women/woman-aligned, it’s just that we have a complicated relationship with gender because of societal expectations. lesbians have been using he/him pronouns for decades anyway, and it’s not really the place of non-lesbians to come at us for this.