I never want my kids to be scared of me or think that I’m an evil ass bitch.
I don’t know why black parents are okay being that way.
And wonder why their kids don’t fucking trust them or have a good relationship with them.
THen when you get older wonder why you don’t talk to them. Cause you scare tf outta me! I’ll be damned if i wanna open up to you when you put the fear of god in me!?!
They’re so verbally and physically abusive yet don’t care to realize it.
But when they do realize it, they blame it on you and the shit “did” that caused them to abuse you. Pretty much blaming you for becoming your abuser.
^^^i witnessed this firsthand.
This is why I don’t cosign those posts about not talking back to your parents as a black child. Yes, I fucking do. And if you wanna go, WE CAN GO.
There is absolutely NOTHING that warrants that kind of behavior, and if I have to risk the sanctity of my residence to defend my right to peace of mind, respect, and dignity, whether I’m the child or not, so be it. I am a fucking human being and you are not going to treat ME like garbage and so much as think you get away with it, I’ll be DAMNED.
My Mom and I argue every damn day. I guess she feels like she can just, say what she wants, but no. Treating people how they treat me isn’t reserved for outsiders, it’s for everyone. Including Elders; they are not untouchable. Not in my book.
And she swears I’m going to “get it back” from my kids! It’s the craziest thing. I won’t treat my kids like she treats me, so why would they mirror something I haven’t shown them? Another scare tactic … Nah, fam. Not here, not today.
Getting the “spare the rod spoil the child” quote as a reason for justification for when you beat me senseless for doing normal kid shit? Not wanting to ask you any questions or for advice because you yell or belittle me? And then when I’m grown and move away wanna act brand fucking new, all in shock when I don’t visit or call yo ass. Hell naw im not callin you! I finally got AWAY from your abusive ass, tf I want a relationship with my abuser for????
Wow holy shit we aren’t the only ones.
P.S. Then it sucks because their abuse sparks mental health issues and in the black community mental health is so taboo so you feel really shitty and isolated due to problems caused by abuse.
lol currently not speaking to my mom cause I refuse to let her degrade me and my efforts.
This is why I don’t talk to my dad…he thinks he can say shit and argue with me over stupid shit and I’m not going to defend myself?! Nigga please my peace of mind is more important to me than anything you say to me
My mom and grandmother both do this to me. And it’s ridiculous.
My mother abused me from the time I was a small child until she kicked me out at 16 because she chose her predatory husband over her only kid (I’m 20 now).
The last time I saw her was in October 2016 at a wedding and she looked so haggard and stressed. People asked why I didn’t talk to her or acknowledge her. Why would I allow my abuser back into my life? The same goes for my father who has a story of his own for another day.
The only spark of positivity I would like to add to this post is
A) I’m proud of all of us who are able to be truthful and critical about these things, as they’re normalized far too much and many of us cannot speak because of it
B) You will heal once away from abusive parents. Even if not fully, your wound is closer to closed now than it was before.
Published
Lady Jace Of The Fae 