pgoob:

It’s so strange that Jonghyun continues to exist in the way I’ve always know of his existence – through video, audio, and text, through the media he created and participated in. Because I was not fortunate enough to have met him or even seen him perform in person, he has only ever existed to me in this way.

And somehow, some way, I still feel the difference when I see these same pictures, these same videos, hear words I’ve heard him say a hundred times. It feels different seeing him now. It’s not a bad feeling, haunting, but not malicious. He still makes me smile, makes me laugh, still makes my heart ache and flutter as he always has, just in a different way because I know he’s no longer “here” with us.

Jonghyun was here. He was human and he was whole. Me not knowing him on a personal, physical level does not change that. He was the media he created but he was also so so much more. He was fucking human and I’ll be damned if anybody tells me I’m not allowed to mourn the physical passing of another human just because I “didn’t know him.” I’ll be damned if anybody tells me what I’m feeling is not fucking “real” just because he was “only” a music artist I saw on the internet.