This needs to be said and I’m tagging everyone on this because its more than Jonghyun
According to a Dispatch interview with a close friend of Jonghyun, he died feeling like a failure and that he couldn’t live up to expectations. Can we please stop putting these idols on pedestals so high that the moment they don’t do as well, they feel like they will plummet into nothing? I would rather have my favorite groups announce they were never going release music again if it meant that they could focus on themselves and live happy lives. At the end of the day, I don’t need a new album. I don’t need a world tour. But what I do need is for my faves to get physical and mental rest. And to know that sales and views dont matter. What does matter, at least to me, is their happiness, them knowing their worth, and that they are enough. Jonghyun didn’t deserve to feel like he wasn’t enough, and no other idol should.
A coping thought I have is no matter how large my feelings feel, the universe is larger than them. I can walk outside, look up, and see all the room I have to let go.
to anyone with a history of alcholism in their family and is yet to be 21: be careful. its hereditary. its learned as a coping mechanism. sometimes it just happens.
when you turn 21, go ahead and enjoy a couple drinks! (if you feel comfortable with that.) and then chill out. if you find yourself drinking more than 4 times a week, seek help. try to stop. at least be on the lookout for triggers that lead to you drinking.
you can be an alcoholic at 21, you can be an alcoholic at 16. dependence on alcohol doesn’t care about age or background.
you can be sober. you can live life without alcohol. you don’t have to be like your parents.
Yes it’s a real service. I do volunteer work for a rape crisis support service in my city and texting is one of the features we provide as well. But just to boost its credibility, I tried it myself:
i got in touch with my therapist and here are some things she suggested, and im sure many of us can use this advice. its summarized as all hell but i hope its enough to give some good ideas if you feel lost.
-if youre in shock like me, its ok to distract yourself until you feel ready to deal with loss. binge those shows youve been wanting to see. read a series you love. if you have things to do, focus on the task at hand
-take care of your body. drink plenty of water. if youre feeling sick, eat and drink things youd normally have when sick like soup and crackers and ginger ale
-if youre heavily dissociating, focus on your breathing and on your surroundings. list everything you can see, hear, feel, smell
-keep clean. shower. use that facemask youve been saving. use expensive lotion. put essential oils in your bath. brush your teeth after every meal
-clean your space
-buy cheap candy canes and just eat them. mint helps with everything
-talk to your loved ones. this is the most important. call a relative you love but havent talked to in a while. play with your pets. tell your family whats going on, or your friends. verbalize everything you feel and if you feel nothing, its okay to say that. dont keep your feelings to yourself right now, unless you know that you deal better working through loss by yourself.
Because of the situation at hand, I’ve decided to halt reviews until after the new year. Jonghyun meant a lot to me as someone who was unapologetically themselves, so this is really taking a lot out of me.
But no worries!!
I was planning on a new format for this blog, plus some other little surprises in 2018. So be sure to stay tuned, babies!!
Lady Jace Of The Fae 
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