It’s so strange that Jonghyun continues to exist in the way I’ve always know of his existence – through video, audio, and text, through the media he created and participated in. Because I was not fortunate enough to have met him or even seen him perform in person, he has only ever existed to me in this way.
And somehow, some way, I still feel the difference when I see these same pictures, these same videos, hear words I’ve heard him say a hundred times. It feels different seeing him now. It’s not a bad feeling, haunting, but not malicious. He still makes me smile, makes me laugh, still makes my heart ache and flutter as he always has, just in a different way because I know he’s no longer “here” with us.
Jonghyun was here. He was human and he was whole. Me not knowing him on a personal, physical level does not change that. He was the media he created but he was also so so much more. He was fucking human and I’ll be damned if anybody tells me I’m not allowed to mourn the physical passing of another human just because I “didn’t know him.” I’ll be damned if anybody tells me what I’m feeling is not fucking “real” just because he was “only” a music artist I saw on the internet.
in light of jinki’s apology, one thing i want to stress is that i’m not here for people jumping down the throats of anyone whose still not comfortable with him. and no, this is not me saying ‘be nice to the ot4 stans’ this is me saying that this was a serious issue that’s a lot bigger then a boy band that we like, and it’s totally understandable that people are going to look at him differently now, and no public apology is going to make it go away.
to be honest i wish shawols would stop with this “shinee have never been problematic or had a scandal” because we all know that isn’t true and pretending it is true is not doing anyone any good
So y’all forgot that scandal Jjong had cause of the racist tropes in his concert last year?!?!?!?! Or Taemin’s antiblack comments about Key’a hair in the MTTM video?!?!?!?! Or when Jinki and Minho got into major hot water cause they performed the Macerena in sombreros at a year end show?!?!?! Cause I didn’t. This Unproblematic Fave™ b/s that Shawols love to circulate needs to fucking stop, cause it ain’t cute.
Lady Jace Of The Fae 
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